Friday, 2 October 2015

Deep Musings ... lol .....

Just realised I haven't been out with a male  on a date for almost two years .... lol.  Since I got fed up with dating websites and the idiots on them it's a bit hard to meet anyone.

Sure there's a chance while coasting down the supermarket lane or scouring the shelves at Bunnings but it's highly unlikely. Although I have been chatted up a few times at Bunning by little 20 year olds .... so cute. Since 2011 I think I've been out on 5 dates .... how sad is that!  ROTFL.

This from a writer of best selling and award winning erotic romance novels .... how funny/ironic is that!

I have no idea how to meet new people. I guess I could go to the local club but it just doesn't interest me. I hate poker machines, I don't drink and not into crowds.  My life drawing sessions aren't on until next year. I feel like a goose when I go to the movies by myself or to a restaurant.... although I do it.

I really do enjoy being alone I don't know that I could handle having someone live with me. But it would be nice to have a friend.  Someone you could ring and say 'want to go to a movie?' or 'I'm want to go take some photos want to come along?'.  Also it would be nice to have some emotional contact.

I was at the hairdressers the other day and a woman client, probably in her early 50s, was complaining. She said she hated being alone. The hairdresser said she thought she was married and the woman said she was but she only saw her husband at night.

I was really confused and I think my hairdresser was too. My idea of being alone is when you don't have someone in your life. This woman said she and her husband went out a few times a week and did things on the weekend but it really made me wonder what sort of life she had if she thought she was alone.

It reinforced my idea that no-one knows what goes on behind closed doors. No-one knows what people hide or feel.

I'm working on my 4th book in a series that deals with things that happen behind the shut door. To the outside world people show one side of themselves but often that view is completely faked.

I know I show a mask to others and the 'real' me is only shown when I shut the front door. Of course no-one sees 'me' because I live alone but you get the general idea.

In fact sometimes it is hard to show the 'real' me even to myself....lol... let alone trust someone enough to take off the mask.  If I was honest I don't know that I ever really have. I've got close. I worn a 'half mask' but never in my life have I gone 'naked' with someone else.

I guess I never met another person who I could trust enough to bare myself. And that's really what it's all about - trust. It's finding someone who you can put your life in their hands and know that they would do whatever they could to protect and honour you.

Kind of like a Dom and a sub - she has the trust to place her safety in his hands and he has the love and commitment to protect, care for and respect her. All comes down to that one thing - trust.

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