Tuesday, 13 November 2012

Internet Dating and Age Differences ......

My inbox has been overflowing with requests for contact from men on the dating site.  One day I had  ..... 35 requests!!!! ..... couldn't believe it.  Anyway, after going laboriously through them all I was able to get rid of most - the married, the overseas, the 20-30 yr olds, the one's whose profiles said NSA or sex friend only; I was then left with 8 who seemed interesting.

I swapped a few emails with them all and found that a couple weren't really interested in a relationship despite having that on their profile (so many think a woman of my age is only interested in sex) so narrowed it down to 4.

.... 2 of them were, at least in my eyes, very attractive; one I swapped a few emails with but something isn't ringing true, he is 55 and says he lives in Sydney but something about his grammar and syntax has my scammer radar ringing; but the other we swapped phone number and we talked on a few occasions.

I hesitated a bit because of his age, he was 43; he actively pursued me and repeatedly said that he is very attracted to me, prefers older women and that age is not an issue; in fact he has stressed that he would love to be with the person he loved even if in ten years they are in their 70s and he only his 50s.  So we talked a few times and swapped some txt messages but in the end it didn't go anywhere.

The remaining two .... one is supposedly my height and 61.  Seems nice but I don't get a warm and cuddly feeling when I look at his picture .... rotfl.  The other is 52 - but he seems to be rarely onsite so the conversations are really, really slooooooooowwww ....lol.

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It is really weird, a lot of young men seem to actively pursue older women and by young men I mean those in their 20s and 30s.   I am 63 and I would have to say that at least 75% of requests I get are from men in those age groups.

The funny thing is those in my own age group just aren't interested ... I get maybe a couple ever few weeks .... and when you look on their profiles they are seeking women in their 20s and 30s .... lol.

Anyway, this got me to thinking about age differences .....

These days doesn't seem as major an issue as when I was younger.  It has always been accepted that men will probably marry a woman younger than themselves and we have tut-tutted when a man has a woman half his age on his arm but never really minded, in fact other men seemed envious.  But 30 years ago if a woman was seen with a man 10 years her junior it was considered scandalous.

Now, of course there are all the terms that go with it like Sugar Daddy (or Mummy), Gold Digger, Trophy husband/wife, Cougar, Puma, Manther, Cradlesnatcher, Toyboy,  etc, etc.

My late husband was 4 years younger than me and I can remember the family shock when we announced our engagement as he was only 21 ...  I was 26 and he 22 when we married.

Today most people are more tolerant and age gaps between the sexes of 20 years are not as frowned upon BUT whereas if the man is older and has a young girl on his arm people say he is lucky; when it is the woman who is older she is now referred to as a Cougar.

I don't really like the term ...in the dictionary it means a woman over 40 who pursues sexual relationships with males more than 10 years younger.

Yes, there are a lot of women who fit that category but then there are a lot of women like me who prefer a younger man's company; who are not interested in casual sex but who want to develop a relationship with a man that is based on mutual love - if that man happens to be a lot younger should it really matter and should she be referred to as a cougar?

toy boys cartoons, toy boys cartoon, toy boys picture, toy boys pictures, toy boys image, toy boys images, toy boys illustration, toy boys illustrations If I was in a loving relationship or marriage with a man who was 15 or 20 years my junior should I be considered a cougar?

In western culture the 'supposed' rule of thumb is never date anyone more than half your age plus seven .... so if I work on that rule then half my age is 31.5 + 7 = 38.5 so anyone over 38 yrs old isn't too young for me  .... rotfl.

Of course the problem with that is in my mind a man of 38 reminds me of my children and I can't get past that.  Even a man in his 40s seems a bit too young, although I admit that I have been out with a few.

A man in his 50s is more to my liking, I think he is more settled, he knows what he wants and he appreciates a woman more than one in his 30s.  A man in his 50s is still younger than me but only from 13 years upward, he, hopefully, still thinks young and has an appreciate of a mature rubinesque woman.

Then maybe I should get over my prejudice and accept requests from men in their late 30s and 40s and just see what happens ...... lol .....

..... and if he looked something likes cuties ...... I think I would have trouble resisting .... rotfl.

1 comment:

  1. you really should write a book about it all, Sooziii.
    I'm with you on the age thing. It
    s hard to think of dating someone only a little older than your kids. lol